Sports haters up their game during Cat-Griz weekend

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The historic rivalry between the Montana State Bobcats and the U of M Grizzlies isn’t just about rooting for your home team. For sports-haters across the state, it also means heightened creative challenge.

“All this excitement over a stupid game inspires me to new levels of malicious fantasy,” a retired Bozeman English teacher confessed.

“Usually I just wish for the home team to lose, but during Cat-Griz weekend I tend to hope for misfortunes that would spoil the fun for both sides, such as a stadium-wide attack of food poisoning, or maybe a head lice infestation.”

When asked about their Cat-Griz plans, an elderly Belgrade couple told reporters that they, too, would be upping their sports-hating game.

“Just wishing for subzero temperatures isn’t very satisfying,” the husband explained, “when those meat-heads in the stadium just get wasted and post grinning Facebook selfies with captions like, ‘Gotta love Montana football!’ or ‘We must be F-ing CRAZY! :)'”

“So we try to concentrate our energy on hoping for something undeniably fun-sucking,” his wife added.

Looking up from her crochet work, she smiled beatifically: “This year, I’m wishing for a volcano.”