Gay marriage disappointing, notes asshole

While Montana families across the state were celebrating the newly reinstated right of same-sex couples to marry, one man took the opportunity to rain on the human rights parade by expressing his resentment.

From a homemade pulpit not far from the Treasure State, the individual raised his tiny pink fist in righteous indignation.

“I weespect that God’s weewy big pwan made abbewations from humanity,” he explained, “But we need pwenty of waws against them being happy.”

At the time of publication the higher being was unavailable for comment.