Police plan facility as surprise for city

A rendering of the proposed surprise construction project

A rendering of the proposed surprise construction project

In the wake of a recent mill levy rejection, one Montana police department is working on a hush-hush plan to build a new justice center as a surprise for their city commission.

“We were thinking we’d just build it ourselves with some funds, and spring the whole thing on the city commission sometime next year,” said a source.

“They seemed to like our new Pigduck amphibious rescue vehicle well enough once they got used to the idea,” he continued, producing an energetically rendered drawing of the proposed site and pointing out that the gun turrets and razor wire were his own additions.

Improvements envisioned for the secretly planned structure could help prevent criminals from wandering out the front door, said one of the designers, “and it would be nice for the officers to have an indoor bathroom,” she added.

One staffer, conducting paperwork on a desk constructed from cardboard file boxes, blood-soaked carpet remnants and bags of weed, concurred that the need for a larger and better-equipped facility was real.

If the department finds funding, their hope is to reveal the completed facility to city commissioners in a surprise party accompanied by balloons, cake and a bouncy castle.

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